My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize