Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
