when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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