that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
