we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
