Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
