Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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