Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
