the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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