No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
