So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
