I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
