We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Acid is not a monday night drug
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
