Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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