he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
