dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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