Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
