The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
