Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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