he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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