he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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