I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
