There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just google imaged poop.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
