Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
