I wanna passion pit in your ass
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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