i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
