well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
