is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
