I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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