Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
