Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
