We won't sleep together?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Shitshow foam night was such a success
me + whiskey = a bad person
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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