i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
