just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
