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It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
