I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
