So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
