No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
