I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
