We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
