Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
