i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
