He asked me if I "almost moaned"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
