but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
