Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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