sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
