I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
