She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
