ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
