real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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