its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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