im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
