Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it glows. i had to have it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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