she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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