The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
